When Communication Stops, So Does Trust

Communication doesn't cost anything but your time.

Yet it may be the most valuable investment you'll ever make in a relationship.

Whether it's your marriage, your friendships, your family, or your workplace, trust is built one conversation at a time. And trust is lost the exact same way.

One missed conversation at a time.

One unanswered question at a time.

One assumption at a time.

One misunderstanding at a time.

Eventually, people stop trusting because they stop knowing.

And when people don't know what's happening, they fill in the blanks themselves.

Your Employees Will Create a Story

One of the greatest leadership lessons I've learned is this:

If employees don't know what's happening, they'll make up their own version of what's happening.

Human beings are natural storytellers.

We hate uncertainty.

We hate gaps in information.

We hate not knowing.

So when leaders stop communicating, employees begin creating narratives.

Rumors start.

Gossip spreads.

Assumptions grow.

Someone hears a piece of information.

Someone else adds to it.

Someone else interprets it.

Before long, the story being told bears little resemblance to reality.

It's no different than reality television.

When people don't have something productive to focus on, they create their own drama.

As leaders, you need to become the TV.

Give your team something worth watching.

Give them direction.

Give them purpose.

Give them mission, values, and objectives.

Keep them informed about where the organization is going and why.

Because if you don't provide a storyline, they'll create one for themselves.

And those stories rarely end well.

You Can't Over-Communicate

People often ask me if there is such a thing as too much communication.

Personally, I don't think so.

No matter how much you communicate, someone will still tell you it wasn't enough.

Someone will miss the email.

Someone won't attend the meeting.

Someone won't read the newsletter.

Someone will forget the conversation.

That doesn't mean you stop communicating.

It means you continue.

Consistency creates confidence. And confidence creates trust.

When people know they'll hear from you regularly, uncertainty decreases.

When uncertainty decreases, trust increases.

It's Not What You Say

One of the biggest mistakes leaders make is believing communication is simply about delivering information.

It isn't.

Communication is about how information is received.

It's not just what you say.

It's how you say it.

It's where you say it.

It's when you say it.

It's the tone behind it.

It's the body language that accompanies it.

Think about the environment.

If you're trying to have a meaningful conversation with a team member, are you sitting behind a giant desk while they're sitting across from you feeling like they're in the principal's office?

Or are you walking side-by-side?

Sitting in a neutral location?

Creating an environment where a conversation can happen rather than an interrogation?

Context matters.

People don't just hear your words.

They experience them.

Your Nonverbals Are Speaking Too

Long before you open your mouth, you're communicating.

Your posture communicates.

Your facial expressions communicate.

Your eye contact communicates.

Your energy communicates.

Some leaders struggle with what I jokingly call RBF: Resting Blank Face.

You may not intend to look frustrated.

You may not intend to look angry.

You may simply be thinking.

But perception matters.

If this sounds like you, have the conversation.

Tell your team.

Be honest.

Say, "If I look upset, I promise I'm probably just concentrating."

People appreciate authenticity.

In fact, they often appreciate awkward honesty more than polished perfection.

That's emotional intelligence.

Knowing yourself well enough to explain yourself before others create assumptions.

Talk With People, Not At Them

There's a huge difference between talking at employees and talking with employees.

Talking at people is one-way communication.

Talking with people creates dialogue.

One builds compliance.

The other builds commitment.

Employees don't want to feel like they're being managed by a loudspeaker.

They want to feel like they're being led by a human being.

Do you know your team?

Really know them?

Do you know their goals?

Do you know what motivates them?

Do you know what stresses them out?

Do you know what they care about outside of work?

Some of the greatest leaders I've ever met remembered something personal about everyone they led.

Not because they had a great memory.

Because they cared enough to ask.

Communication Shouldn't Only Show Up During Problems

One of the fastest ways to damage trust is only communicating when something is wrong.

If every conversation with a leader involves feedback, correction, coaching, or performance concerns, employees begin to associate communication with negativity.

Communication should be continuous.

It should happen when things are going well.

It should happen when things are difficult.

It should happen when nothing significant is happening at all.

Trust isn't built during crises.

Trust is built before crises occur.

The Problem With Email and Text

Technology makes communication easier.

It also makes communication more dangerous.

Emails don't have facial expressions.

Text messages don't have tone.

Slack messages don't have body language.

The reader supplies all of those things themselves.

And unfortunately, people often read messages through the lens of their own emotions.

A neutral message can sound angry.

A short response can sound dismissive.

A simple question can sound accusatory.

When a conversation matters, have it in person.

If you can't do that, pick up the phone.

If you must send an email, make sure your message is clear and leaves as little room for interpretation as possible.

And yes, there is nothing wrong with using technology to help you review your communication before you send it.

Not to replace your voice.

But to ensure your message reflects your intent.

Authenticity matters.

Clarity matters more.

Communication Is Trust

At the end of the day, communication isn't just something leaders do.

Communication is leadership.

Communication is trust.

And without trust, relationships don't survive.

Not personal relationships.

Not professional relationships.

Not organizational relationships.

When communication stops, assumptions begin.

When assumptions begin, trust erodes.

And when trust erodes, relationships eventually break.

So talk.

Talk often.

Talk honestly.

Talk clearly.

Talk with your people, not at them.

Your communication doesn't need to be perfect.

It simply needs to be authentic.

Because when communication stops, so does trust.